DaNcE IN THE rAiN

My new motto through all this cancer stuff :)

So, after doing some thinking, I decided to do a little editing with my blog. :) I wanted to make it more personal, up-to-date, and with shorter entries. Hope you like what I've done! (It's still a work in progress..)

One week until my last chemo (hopefully forever!). I'm feeling kinda blah these days..low energy, kinda sick feeling in my stomach..had a random nosebleed at 4:30 a.m. two nights ago. BUT..the end of this gross feeling is near!!

Still trying to decide where to go for surgery: Maine or Utah. I have to make a list of pros and cons and go from there. Well..really..the main concern is the dreadful insurance. Maine has me covered.. Utah potentially does with Medicaid.

So, why the need to decide? I'd really like to start school again this fall at Utah Career College. Classes start October 4th. We'll see.. I just really really want to move on with my life....

I went to a mass at the beautiful (and enormous!) Cathedral of St. Paul on Monday where a memorial mass was held for Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. They had her rosary and sandals on display. She was one of the most beautiful and beloved human beings to ever walk this planet; selfless, kind, loving, and always faithful to God. Next month is a mass to honor what would have been her 100th birthday.

I pray she watches over not only myself, but all of us.


A lady approached me at this mass and asked me if I was going through chemo. I told her I was and she said that she just finished her treatment in October. She told me that I would be okay and that God would take care of me. And so would Mother Teresa. I thanked her and said, "Do you mind if I ask what type of cancer you had?". She said, "Breast cancer." Immediately a wave of appreciation for this woman swept over me. She understood what I was going through. She had been through it, too. She told me that she had a double mastectomy. I told her that's what was next for me. She said, "You'll be okay. I'll keep you in my prayers." As I watched her walk away, I started to cry, though she didn't notice. I didn't want her to leave. Here was this woman right in front of me who, without a doubt, felt the same fears I did, felt the same discomfort I did through chemotherapy, and who feels the same hope that I feel that God will take care of us. It was incredibly overwhelming and I suppose crying was the release I needed in that moment.

As I watched her, she walked over to the place where you offer prayers, lit a candle, and knelt down to pray. I wonder if she'll ever know how in that instant, I really believed I'd be okay.... my mom and Alan also lit candles and prayed for me in that exact same spot.

That's all for now.. more to come soon! :)

One last thing....



I think it's fun :)




Thanks for the love and support. xo